This miserable-looking guy is sat at a bar one evening, just staring at his drink. He's been like that for half-an-hour now.

Suddenly this big, trouble-making truck driver walks up to him, takes the guy's drink from the bar, and drinks it all down in one gulp. The sad guy starts to cry.

The truck driver is a bit off-put by this and says to him, "Come on man, I was only joking. Here, I'll buy you another drink. I can't stand to see a grown man cry."

Just as he was about to eat them, three big hairy bikers walked in.

The first biker grabbed the trucker's cheeseburger and took a big bite from it.

The second biker picked up the trucker's coffee and downed it in one gulp.

The third biker ate the trucker's apple pie.

The truck driver didn't do anything or say a word as all this went on.

When they finished, he just paid the waitress and left.

The first biker said to the waitress, "He ain't much of a man, is he?"

"He's not much of a driver, either," the waitress replied. "He's just backed his 18-wheeler over three motorbikes."

An Aussie truck driver is travelling from Melbourne to Perth when he stops to pick up a hitch-hiker by the side of the road.

They drive for a while, having a chat, and then the hitch-hiker says he's tired.

The truck driver tells him to lay down in the truck's sleeper compartment and have a rest.

So the hitch-hiker lies down and is soon asleep. A short time later, he's woken by the noise of the truck running over something.

"What was all the noise?" he asks the truck driver.

The trucker replies, "Oh, I just hit an Aborigine."

The hitch-hiker says, "Oh! But what was all that other noise?"

The trucker replies, "Well, I had to go through two fences to get him."

Trucker vs. Blonde

As a trucker stops for a red light, a blonde catches up. She jumps out of her car, runs up to his truck, and knocks on the door. The trucker lowers the window, and she says ‘Hi, my name is Heather and you are losing some of your load.’

The trucker ignores her and proceeds down the street. When the truck stops for another red light, the girl catches up again. She jumps out of her car, runs up and knocks on the door. Again, the trucker lowers the window.
As if they’ve never spoken, the blonde says brightly, ‘Hi my name is Heather, and you are losing some of your load!’ Shaking his head the trucker ignores her again and continues down the street. At the third red light, the same thing happens again. At the next light the trucker hurriedly gets out of the truck, and runs back to the blonde. He knocks on her window, and as she lowers it, he says, ‘Hi, my name is Kevin, it’s winter in Canada and I’m driving the SALT TRUCK!!!!!!’

One day, as the truck driver was driving along he saw a priest hitch-hiking. He thought he'd do a good turn so he pulled the truck over and said to the priest, "Where're you going, Father?"

The priest answered, "I'm going to the church 3 miles down the road."

"No problem, Father!" said the trucker, "I'll give you a lift. Climb in."

So the priest climbed into the passenger seat and the truck driver continued down the road. Suddenly the truck driver saw a lawyer walking down the road and instinctively he swerved to hit him. But as he did so he suddenly remembered there was a priest in the truck with him, so at the last minute he swerved away, just missing the lawyer.

Even though he was sure he'd missed the lawyer, he still heard a loud "THUD". Not knowing where the noise had come from, he looked in his mirrors but when he didn't see anything, he turned to the priest and said, "I'm sorry Father. I almost hit that lawyer."

"I know", said the priest. "Lucky I got him with the door!"

A trucker stops for a red light one day and notices a blonde in the car behind. She jumps out of her car, runs up to his truck, and knocks on the door. The trucker lowers the window, and the blonde says to him, "Hi, my name's Julie and I thought you should know you're losing some of your load."

The trucker just ignores her, raises the window and proceeds down the street as the light changes. A short while later he has to stop for another red light. The blonde in the car is still behind him. Again, she jumps out of her car, runs up and knocks on the door. Again, the trucker lowers the window.

As if they've never spoken before, the blonde says brightly, "Hi my name's Julie, and I thought you should know you're losing some of your load!"

The trucker shakes his head but apart from this he ignores her again. He raises the window and drives on as the red light changes.

At the third red light, the same thing happens again.

At the fourth red light the trucker jumps out of his truck, and runs back to the blonde's car. He knocks on the window and she lowers it.

The trucker says, "Hi, my name's Steve, it's winter in Canada, and I'm driving the salt truck!"

A gynaecologist was fed up with his job and so he decided to switch careers.

I was walking down the street today when breakdown truck driver pulled up alongside me and said, "Excuse me, I'm looking for the accident site involving a van carrying a load of cutlery."

"No problem," I said. "Go straight down this road for 1 mile, then take the first left, and when you get to the fork in the road you're there."

A truck driver was pulled over one day by a State Trooper. The patrolman told him to get out of the truck, and he noticed that the driver appeared to be putting something in his mouth as he stepped out of the cab.

Thinking that the driver was putting away his pep pills, the patrolman said, "Did I just see you swallow something?"

The truck driver replied, "Yeah, that was my birth control pill."

"Your birth control pill?" asked the patrolman.

The trucker said, "Yeah, when I saw your flashing light, I knew I was screwed!"

This truck driver goes into a whore house one day and slaps $500 on the counter. Then he says to the madam, "I want the ugliest girl in the place and a ham sandwich."

The madam of the house looks at the big wad of money in front of her and says to him, "You know, for $500 you could have the most beautiful girl in here."

The truck driver looks at her and says, "Listen, I'm not horny, I'm home sick."

Truckers vs. Environmentalists

Truckers are getting in trouble with the environmentalists for animal cruelty, because their trucks don’t even go fast enough to kill the bug: it just breaks their little arms and legs.

Eventually, a cop car pulls up. The cop gets out and walks around to the truck driver. He puts his hands on his hips and says to him, "Got stuck huh, sir?"

The trucker replies, "No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of gas."

Trucker vs. Motorcyclists

Trucker stopped at a roadside diner for lunch and ordered a cheeseburger, coffee and a slice of apple pie. As he was about to eat, three bikers walked in.

One grabbed the trucker’s cheeseburger and took a huge bite from it. The second one drank the trucker’s coffee, and the third wolfed down his apple pie. The truck driver didn’t say a word as he paid the waitress and left.

As the waitress walked up, one of the motorcyclists growled, “He ain’t much of a man, is he?”

“He’s not much of a driver, either,” the waitress replied. “He just backed his 18-wheeler over three motorcycles.”

Trucker vs. Hitchhiker Girl

The trucker stopped to picked up the hitchhiker girl in short shorts. “Say, what’s your name, mister? ” she inquired, after she climbed up in the truck. “It’s Snow, Roy Snow,” he answered, “and what’s yours? “I’m June, June Hansen,” she said. “Hey, why do you keep sizing me up with those sidelong glances? ” she challenged the trucker some miles down the road. “Can you imagine what it might be like,” he countered with a question of his own, “Having eight inches of Snow in June? ”

Trucker vs. Blonde

As a trucker stops for a red light, a blonde catches up. She jumps out of her car, runs up to his truck, and knocks on the door. The trucker lowers the window, and she says ‘Hi, my name is Heather and you are losing some of your load.’

The trucker ignores her and proceeds down the street. When the truck stops for another red light, the girl catches up again. She jumps out of her car, runs up and knocks on the door. Again, the trucker lowers the window.
As if they’ve never spoken, the blonde says brightly, ‘Hi my name is Heather, and you are losing some of your load!’ Shaking his head the trucker ignores her again and continues down the street.